The Beginning of a New Chapter

Heya, everyone. As of today, my life has taken a signifcant change in direction. Actually, not that significant, but to me and my friends it has. As you all know, my SOS and I have had some problems. She hasn't actually had any problems, really, since she's just found a new way to love life; and clearly, I'm not a part of that. I had planned on ending our relationship today after finding out over the weekend (for a FACT) that she really doesn't like me anymore after falling more and more for this other guy. It's been very clear to me for the last week, but my ignorance has prevented me from seeing reality as it truly is. So I came in to today very anxious and worried, as I wasn't sure how it would go. So I told her early in the morning that at some point we needed to talk, and she just replied with a semi-thoughtful "okay". I wanted this to end with a firm understanding of what has gone on since things have gone south. But, I realized as the day wore on, this wouldn't be happening. Because of our 3 hours spent in the cafeteria preparing for our end of course geometry test, I didn't even see her again until around noon (lunch). This was clearly not a time to do it, so I put it off again until later. This later turned out to be just after our next class, and by no means was it a "talk". I was handed a note, and we went off it seperate directions.
Upon receiving the note, I said to my friend beside me "This is it. I know the moment that I open this, it's finished." I was quite frustrated because I know knew that this talk I had wanted face-to-face would never happen; it was going to end with neither of us seeing the other's reaction. And no closure to all of the curiousity's that I had endured for the past week. It said as I imagined; that by now I'm just a friend and that she should have done something sooner. Also that she wanted to be friends again like we used to be. I was a little ticked because none of that explained why this was happening, and I'm almost sure that up to her trip, everything was perfectly fine. Holding back the few tears I had (few, being because I was also quite frustrated), I zoned out of whatever lesson we were receiving in Science and wrote one final note to her. I had to do my best to input all that I had wished to say in person into a note, but knowing that odds are I will still remain without any answers. That's just how it'll have to be. As there was now only one class left in the day, I caught her in the hallway and as she basically did with me, handed it off and left. I'll probably never know what she ended up doing with it, or how she thought about it. But that doesn't matter anymore- this is the beginning of a new chapter in my still wide open life. And it will be for the best.

PJB