Okay, I actually didn't nearly lose anything of material or personal value, but the meaning behind that is that I've gone a week and a half without a post, and almost lost thought on it. It's somewhat difficult to explain, but I think you get the meaning. So...a lot's happened since April 12. Lets see...only real thing worth noting from last week was the conference track meet. That didn't quite go how we would have liked, but considering we were missing 3 people who actually score points, it wasn't unexpected. We got second, behind Heritage (Rogers). Good news that I can bring out of that is I was able to qualify for the regional track meet next Monday in Alma for my high jump and the 4x800m relay. Running is something that comes fairly naturally to me, but to be able to qualify for REGIONALS in high jump after only having done it 3 times in my life makes me pretty proud of it. I mean, I've known that I can jump, but its totally different than just trying to say, dunk a basketball. Those of you who have actually done it know the difference. So, get to have a pretty good day next Monday because of that.
Now, to this week; pretty much all about the end of course geometry test. Well, Monday I wasn't able to go to school (no, not skipping, and not sick- very complicated...), so I returned yesterday to the first day of testing. That went on for three and a half hours, but really wasn't too bad. Got to play some Ultimate at lunch, which is rare, because no one in third lunch really does. Not too much to the day. Had to stay up pretty late though to catch up on work, and having to read 11 chapters of Huckleberry Finn wasn't any fun. But I managed, like always.
Today started off pretty much the same, with EOC. But that was only about three hours today, and it was quite an awesome feeling to get it finished. Yeah, I know, it was only two days. But anytime you finish something thats somewhat important like that, you can't help but feel good about it. Rest of the day was, sadly, quite boring. Not in a bad way, but just in a not-so-interesting way. This weekend is going to be awesome though. Friday is this dodgeball tournament, and then Saturday will be Silver Dollar City with the band. I can't say that I've had that much fun awaiting a weekend in quite awhile. Which is pretty sad...but stuff's rough sometimes. If something ever so amazing happens tomorrow, then I'll get on this and write about it. But otherwise, it may just be the better idea to wait until after the trip Saturday. Much more to report then! Plus, tomorrow and Friday I'm spending three hours couped up in the cafeteria while everyone else takes their Algebra 1 EOC...trust me, there's nothing interesting that'll come out of that!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
The Beginning of a New Chapter
Heya, everyone. As of today, my life has taken a signifcant change in direction. Actually, not that significant, but to me and my friends it has. As you all know, my SOS and I have had some problems. She hasn't actually had any problems, really, since she's just found a new way to love life; and clearly, I'm not a part of that. I had planned on ending our relationship today after finding out over the weekend (for a FACT) that she really doesn't like me anymore after falling more and more for this other guy. It's been very clear to me for the last week, but my ignorance has prevented me from seeing reality as it truly is. So I came in to today very anxious and worried, as I wasn't sure how it would go. So I told her early in the morning that at some point we needed to talk, and she just replied with a semi-thoughtful "okay". I wanted this to end with a firm understanding of what has gone on since things have gone south. But, I realized as the day wore on, this wouldn't be happening. Because of our 3 hours spent in the cafeteria preparing for our end of course geometry test, I didn't even see her again until around noon (lunch). This was clearly not a time to do it, so I put it off again until later. This later turned out to be just after our next class, and by no means was it a "talk". I was handed a note, and we went off it seperate directions.
Upon receiving the note, I said to my friend beside me "This is it. I know the moment that I open this, it's finished." I was quite frustrated because I know knew that this talk I had wanted face-to-face would never happen; it was going to end with neither of us seeing the other's reaction. And no closure to all of the curiousity's that I had endured for the past week. It said as I imagined; that by now I'm just a friend and that she should have done something sooner. Also that she wanted to be friends again like we used to be. I was a little ticked because none of that explained why this was happening, and I'm almost sure that up to her trip, everything was perfectly fine. Holding back the few tears I had (few, being because I was also quite frustrated), I zoned out of whatever lesson we were receiving in Science and wrote one final note to her. I had to do my best to input all that I had wished to say in person into a note, but knowing that odds are I will still remain without any answers. That's just how it'll have to be. As there was now only one class left in the day, I caught her in the hallway and as she basically did with me, handed it off and left. I'll probably never know what she ended up doing with it, or how she thought about it. But that doesn't matter anymore- this is the beginning of a new chapter in my still wide open life. And it will be for the best.
PJB
Upon receiving the note, I said to my friend beside me "This is it. I know the moment that I open this, it's finished." I was quite frustrated because I know knew that this talk I had wanted face-to-face would never happen; it was going to end with neither of us seeing the other's reaction. And no closure to all of the curiousity's that I had endured for the past week. It said as I imagined; that by now I'm just a friend and that she should have done something sooner. Also that she wanted to be friends again like we used to be. I was a little ticked because none of that explained why this was happening, and I'm almost sure that up to her trip, everything was perfectly fine. Holding back the few tears I had (few, being because I was also quite frustrated), I zoned out of whatever lesson we were receiving in Science and wrote one final note to her. I had to do my best to input all that I had wished to say in person into a note, but knowing that odds are I will still remain without any answers. That's just how it'll have to be. As there was now only one class left in the day, I caught her in the hallway and as she basically did with me, handed it off and left. I'll probably never know what she ended up doing with it, or how she thought about it. But that doesn't matter anymore- this is the beginning of a new chapter in my still wide open life. And it will be for the best.
PJB
Friday, April 9, 2010
Not-So-Fantastic Friday..
Hello again! I'm quite proud of myself at the moment, realizing that this will be my 4th post already this week! I was truly afraid that I may do one or two and just kind of forget about it, but I've done pretty well with it so far. It always helps when you have friends at school who have found it (I've just decided its good for them to all know about it), and continually tell you how awesome your writing skills and stories are. Even gotten a few "I'm sorrys" for some of the sadder points in what I've written. It's really made me feel good about it. Even if I don't have a million followers, let alone 5 right now, the fact that people are reading it is what matters. Thanks, guys.
So, there was no way I could have typed anything up last night after going through the ordeal that I did. Yes, I understand that I've said I would be totally honest and straightforward with my stories/news, but this is more of something I really can't talk about, for the sake of my personal PERSONAL life, and the other person of whom it has affected. I'll just say that it had to do with SOS (You ought to know what that means, or you're clearly not old enough/mature enough to be reading this). A "conversation" occured that was unavoidable only because someone else made a mistake, and it ended up unraveling into something really upsetting, probably for both of us. I know I was upset; couldn't fall asleep until something like 12:45 and in that mean time wrote a note to her that ended up being a full page, front and back, a whole front of the second page, and half of its back. Gave it to her this morning, but I'm not quite sure of how she responded to it, as we never were able to talk about it more than if she had read it by 5th period. It was just a sort of awkward day, so talking didn't seem like the best thing to do anyways. More for thought; however, the best thing I have to report on that is that just before we both left for seperate destinations, we did actually hug for the first time in more than a week. That was somewhat reassuring, and I'm hoping that off of something as small as that, we can build off of it so that things will be better. That's all I can say on that without getting too emotional about it...
Besides that, today was also just a really busy day overall; had a science test and history test, and then had this band solo and ensemble contest in West Fork. The other two guys who play the same instrument as I did a trio, and awesomely enough got a first division on it. I was rather proud, not just because of the first division, but because I honestly was very worried about it going well at all. We hadn't exactly practiced that much on it, and sort of threw it together in a few days. Nonetheless, a great result. As an entire band, we had 81 first divisions and 6 second. Pretty beast, if you ask me.
I'm not sure that I really have that much left in the tank to talk about, probably because I'm so mentally drained...both from school and personal things. Sisters get the priveledge of going to Silver Dollar City tomorrow in Branson, along with basically half of the rest of the school. However, just because the counselor woman wouldn't let me do a foreign language this year, I'm not fortunate enough to have that opportunity. SOS is going, along with the person I've been stressing over the last week, so I have a very fine friend by the name of Abe (theres some credit for you, dude) thats going to keep an eye on things for me. I shouldn't have to wonder about stuff like that, but thats the basis of all the problems lately. Well, since I couldn't sleep at all last night, I'm gonna hit the snoozer early tonight so I can hopefully have a good weekend.
Oh, and by the way, please tell people about this blog so that I can hopefully expand it's followers; that would be awesome. Thanks.
So, there was no way I could have typed anything up last night after going through the ordeal that I did. Yes, I understand that I've said I would be totally honest and straightforward with my stories/news, but this is more of something I really can't talk about, for the sake of my personal PERSONAL life, and the other person of whom it has affected. I'll just say that it had to do with SOS (You ought to know what that means, or you're clearly not old enough/mature enough to be reading this). A "conversation" occured that was unavoidable only because someone else made a mistake, and it ended up unraveling into something really upsetting, probably for both of us. I know I was upset; couldn't fall asleep until something like 12:45 and in that mean time wrote a note to her that ended up being a full page, front and back, a whole front of the second page, and half of its back. Gave it to her this morning, but I'm not quite sure of how she responded to it, as we never were able to talk about it more than if she had read it by 5th period. It was just a sort of awkward day, so talking didn't seem like the best thing to do anyways. More for thought; however, the best thing I have to report on that is that just before we both left for seperate destinations, we did actually hug for the first time in more than a week. That was somewhat reassuring, and I'm hoping that off of something as small as that, we can build off of it so that things will be better. That's all I can say on that without getting too emotional about it...
Besides that, today was also just a really busy day overall; had a science test and history test, and then had this band solo and ensemble contest in West Fork. The other two guys who play the same instrument as I did a trio, and awesomely enough got a first division on it. I was rather proud, not just because of the first division, but because I honestly was very worried about it going well at all. We hadn't exactly practiced that much on it, and sort of threw it together in a few days. Nonetheless, a great result. As an entire band, we had 81 first divisions and 6 second. Pretty beast, if you ask me.
I'm not sure that I really have that much left in the tank to talk about, probably because I'm so mentally drained...both from school and personal things. Sisters get the priveledge of going to Silver Dollar City tomorrow in Branson, along with basically half of the rest of the school. However, just because the counselor woman wouldn't let me do a foreign language this year, I'm not fortunate enough to have that opportunity. SOS is going, along with the person I've been stressing over the last week, so I have a very fine friend by the name of Abe (theres some credit for you, dude) thats going to keep an eye on things for me. I shouldn't have to wonder about stuff like that, but thats the basis of all the problems lately. Well, since I couldn't sleep at all last night, I'm gonna hit the snoozer early tonight so I can hopefully have a good weekend.
Oh, and by the way, please tell people about this blog so that I can hopefully expand it's followers; that would be awesome. Thanks.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Sick Day...Fun!
So, never during the week (until summer) will I be able to write a blog in the middle of today; today, however, would be an exception. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely awful...not really sure what to call it, but it's something that's REALLY bothering my throat. I'll take the day off, since I really needed one, but at the same time I wish it wasn't for this reason.
Anyways, the track meet went as long as expected last night; ended a little after 10. I walked in the door and went (or at least tryed to) straight to sleep. It was a really exhausting day. The SAT 10 test was actually really easy, in my opinion, but still tiring. Right after that was done with, had to deal with band. With this solo/ensemble event coming up, we had to practice our stuff in front of everyone. It was really stupid. But it went by fairly quickly. The good thing was that right after lunch we were leaving school for the meet, and that was right after band. The only downside to that was that I wasn't going to have a chance to try and talk with- well, my special someone. That one chance was going to be at lunch, but right as I got to the table she left for some reason. Just fits right in with how the last week or so has gone. That was disappointing, but I'm usually an optimistic person so I just went on with the day. Got to Rogers Heritage around, oh, I'd say 2. My mom was busy with something so I had to plan on staying there until it was over, and then one of the coaches would bring me home. That sucked, just since I knew it would take forever; 8 hours to be exact. Event wise, I only had to do the 4x800m relay, and 800m run. Saving high jump for the conference meet next week. Got third or fourth in the relay, and placed somewhere (not exactly sure) in the 800m run. I was perfectly fine with the results. Plus, we won the meet overall. Only thing I wasn't fine with after the meet ended was I still had a TON of homework to do when I got home. There was no way that was going to happen though, so I planned on doing it this morning. Conviently woke up sick...yeah, say what you want, but I couldn't fake a sickness, plus I'm going to have to make up a test in history now, which i really wanted to avoid. Oh well, just going to have to deal with it.
Rest of today will be pretty boring...just laying down and watching television or movies. A nap actually sounds kind of nice right now. I think thats where I'll leave this one off. Hope this has been a good Wednesday for everyone! Sure has been for me...
Anyways, the track meet went as long as expected last night; ended a little after 10. I walked in the door and went (or at least tryed to) straight to sleep. It was a really exhausting day. The SAT 10 test was actually really easy, in my opinion, but still tiring. Right after that was done with, had to deal with band. With this solo/ensemble event coming up, we had to practice our stuff in front of everyone. It was really stupid. But it went by fairly quickly. The good thing was that right after lunch we were leaving school for the meet, and that was right after band. The only downside to that was that I wasn't going to have a chance to try and talk with- well, my special someone. That one chance was going to be at lunch, but right as I got to the table she left for some reason. Just fits right in with how the last week or so has gone. That was disappointing, but I'm usually an optimistic person so I just went on with the day. Got to Rogers Heritage around, oh, I'd say 2. My mom was busy with something so I had to plan on staying there until it was over, and then one of the coaches would bring me home. That sucked, just since I knew it would take forever; 8 hours to be exact. Event wise, I only had to do the 4x800m relay, and 800m run. Saving high jump for the conference meet next week. Got third or fourth in the relay, and placed somewhere (not exactly sure) in the 800m run. I was perfectly fine with the results. Plus, we won the meet overall. Only thing I wasn't fine with after the meet ended was I still had a TON of homework to do when I got home. There was no way that was going to happen though, so I planned on doing it this morning. Conviently woke up sick...yeah, say what you want, but I couldn't fake a sickness, plus I'm going to have to make up a test in history now, which i really wanted to avoid. Oh well, just going to have to deal with it.
Rest of today will be pretty boring...just laying down and watching television or movies. A nap actually sounds kind of nice right now. I think thats where I'll leave this one off. Hope this has been a good Wednesday for everyone! Sure has been for me...
Monday, April 5, 2010
That "About Me" post I promised
Okay, so in my posting yesterday, I mentioned that it would probably be a good way to start off by writing a more detailed "About Me" article. Well, for now, I'm not using my ACTUAL name, just for the mystery of it :O. Well, that and because I don't really want my friends finding this through my real name. It may not always please them with what I write. That keeps things honest though.
So, other than my screen name, I'm going to go by...Robert? Nah, I guess Matt. Honestly, I'm choosing that because its the last name I heard (Some guy on the Butler basketball team; national championship game is on!). Anyways, I'm currently residing in the oh so wonderful city of Fayetteville, Arkansas. Haven't lived here too long; moved here this year to start 9th grade. Theres two twin sisters (younger) and a little brother living with me, as well as my mom. Yeah, no dad at the moment. Sort of. They're VERY recently divorced :(. It really sucks. Anyways, I appreciate all of the opportunities that I've been given since moving here, even though some have turned out to be not so great. I play basketball, baseball, and run track (high jump and relays to be more specific). At 15, I'm already 6'2 so it kind of helps with athletics. And I work really hard. That kind of contributes to school also; really hoping that I'm going to end this year with my 4.0 in tact! Call it lame or whatever, but I really want to have something to fall back on when I'm older and NOT up to the athletic level of some other people. Trying to juggle school, atheltics, and being basically the "dad" of the household can sometimes be really tough, but I've made it through a whole, 7?, months of it so far. I still would really appreciate it though if I could just lose one of those responsibilities (*cough*dad*cough*).
Socially, I guess I've been given a gift of some sort, or its just my personality, because people really seem to like me. If I'd like to be friends with someone, I usually can work that out. It's really nice sometimes, but also sucks because I can't always say that I have one "Best" friend. Just a whole lotta great ones. I'm not really one of those people who focuses on one group or type of friends; its cool to be able to branch out and get the most out of everyone. Theres a girl in my life that I really care about, but I'm not sure that overall it's the best thing for me right now. I never want to change someone for my benefit, so I don't want to push it if its not meant to happen. I'm gonna keep trying, but the last few weeks or so have been a little rough. For all I know, my next post could be that it's over; or it could be that everythings back to the way it was for the first few months. The second of the two is what I'd much rather be writing about.
Okay, well I'm sure that there's plenty more that I could include in this, but thats the basic of it all. Tomorrow I've got some SAT 10 test to take, so I really can't keep on here writing, especially with homework left to do. Should have done that earlier...anyways, tomorrow there's a track meet, so I likely won't be able to write anything. I'll just do a SUPER POST Wednesday, if I can.
So, other than my screen name, I'm going to go by...Robert? Nah, I guess Matt. Honestly, I'm choosing that because its the last name I heard (Some guy on the Butler basketball team; national championship game is on!). Anyways, I'm currently residing in the oh so wonderful city of Fayetteville, Arkansas. Haven't lived here too long; moved here this year to start 9th grade. Theres two twin sisters (younger) and a little brother living with me, as well as my mom. Yeah, no dad at the moment. Sort of. They're VERY recently divorced :(. It really sucks. Anyways, I appreciate all of the opportunities that I've been given since moving here, even though some have turned out to be not so great. I play basketball, baseball, and run track (high jump and relays to be more specific). At 15, I'm already 6'2 so it kind of helps with athletics. And I work really hard. That kind of contributes to school also; really hoping that I'm going to end this year with my 4.0 in tact! Call it lame or whatever, but I really want to have something to fall back on when I'm older and NOT up to the athletic level of some other people. Trying to juggle school, atheltics, and being basically the "dad" of the household can sometimes be really tough, but I've made it through a whole, 7?, months of it so far. I still would really appreciate it though if I could just lose one of those responsibilities (*cough*dad*cough*).
Socially, I guess I've been given a gift of some sort, or its just my personality, because people really seem to like me. If I'd like to be friends with someone, I usually can work that out. It's really nice sometimes, but also sucks because I can't always say that I have one "Best" friend. Just a whole lotta great ones. I'm not really one of those people who focuses on one group or type of friends; its cool to be able to branch out and get the most out of everyone. Theres a girl in my life that I really care about, but I'm not sure that overall it's the best thing for me right now. I never want to change someone for my benefit, so I don't want to push it if its not meant to happen. I'm gonna keep trying, but the last few weeks or so have been a little rough. For all I know, my next post could be that it's over; or it could be that everythings back to the way it was for the first few months. The second of the two is what I'd much rather be writing about.
Okay, well I'm sure that there's plenty more that I could include in this, but thats the basic of it all. Tomorrow I've got some SAT 10 test to take, so I really can't keep on here writing, especially with homework left to do. Should have done that earlier...anyways, tomorrow there's a track meet, so I likely won't be able to write anything. I'll just do a SUPER POST Wednesday, if I can.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Well....
I think it's a good idea to start out by saying that I honestly have no idea on what I intend to get out of making this blog...I guess getting my voice heard? I would say that I have a fairly interesting life. So I'm hoping this doesn't turn out to be one of those things where you come and check it out, forseeing a lot of potential, and end up leaving never to return again. I'd like for it to be something that if you hit "subscribe" to, you actually mean it. Unlike those Facebook things where you become a fan of something only to never actually return to that page again. Yeah, those are stupid. If anything at all I'd like to be able to say that this isn't a waste of time.
It's already 9:10 here, and being Sunday I don't have much time left to spend on this laptop of mine (which may be the most ghetto laptop I've ever seen, but I may talk details about that later). Sucks to say it, but this honestly may have been the worst weekend that I've had in a LONG time. I can't really go into details YET because none of it would make sense unless you knew a bit about me. Besides that "About Me" section there to the side; its pretty much a joke. I guess tomorrow if I have time I'll write an actual "About Me" post so you have an idea of what I'm talking about when I talk about it. The one thing I have to say now is that until I ask friends about it, I'm not going to actually use real names. I think it will be more interesting having a character/real person named something like "Yoda" or "Shorty" rather than Sam or Alex. Not that those two code names will actually relate to someone named Sam or Alex, its just an example.
So, at the moment this blog's going to detail what goes on with my life, and my friends. Oh, and siblings, I guess (got 3; twin sisters and a brother). I promise, I won't go on and on about some huge lame test I have in a class, since no one other than people who know me can actually relate to that class. I will go over stupid things that happen in classes, because those can be rather hilarious. I'm good at picking between stupid-stupid, and stupid-hilarious. Personal/social life will be focused on more, since being a teen is all about social issues. Yeah, issues is the only suitable word for it. I'll keep it my job to keep all of you entertained, while at the same time informed.
Well, after a good whole 13 minutes of writing, I am going to bid you adeiu to this not so glorious Easter Sunday. In religious terms, actually very glorious. But as I said, personally, pretty terrible. Hopefully I can come up with some interesting things tomorrow. Sure there will be plenty.
PJB
It's already 9:10 here, and being Sunday I don't have much time left to spend on this laptop of mine (which may be the most ghetto laptop I've ever seen, but I may talk details about that later). Sucks to say it, but this honestly may have been the worst weekend that I've had in a LONG time. I can't really go into details YET because none of it would make sense unless you knew a bit about me. Besides that "About Me" section there to the side; its pretty much a joke. I guess tomorrow if I have time I'll write an actual "About Me" post so you have an idea of what I'm talking about when I talk about it. The one thing I have to say now is that until I ask friends about it, I'm not going to actually use real names. I think it will be more interesting having a character/real person named something like "Yoda" or "Shorty" rather than Sam or Alex. Not that those two code names will actually relate to someone named Sam or Alex, its just an example.
So, at the moment this blog's going to detail what goes on with my life, and my friends. Oh, and siblings, I guess (got 3; twin sisters and a brother). I promise, I won't go on and on about some huge lame test I have in a class, since no one other than people who know me can actually relate to that class. I will go over stupid things that happen in classes, because those can be rather hilarious. I'm good at picking between stupid-stupid, and stupid-hilarious. Personal/social life will be focused on more, since being a teen is all about social issues. Yeah, issues is the only suitable word for it. I'll keep it my job to keep all of you entertained, while at the same time informed.
Well, after a good whole 13 minutes of writing, I am going to bid you adeiu to this not so glorious Easter Sunday. In religious terms, actually very glorious. But as I said, personally, pretty terrible. Hopefully I can come up with some interesting things tomorrow. Sure there will be plenty.
PJB
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